The Shape of Water



Where seen: In Theaters

Who with: My mom

While I’m home for the holidays I try to see at least one movie with my mom. I knew that this one was going to be big come Oscar szn so I suggested we go see it. Overall I thought it was a really good movie.

The acting was excellent by everybody in it. Michael Shannon played his same scary ass character from Boardwalk Empire, which is a great villain. The old actor who reminds me of the dad from arrested development without all of the sexual abuse was great comic relief. Sally Hawkins could win best actress for playing a mute girl and I would have no problem with that. Abigail Spencer really showed her range after portraying a sassy black woman from the 1960s in both The Help and Hidden F*****s, and played a sassy black woman from the 1960s.

If I had to say something negative about this film it would have to be all of the fish fucking. I may be alone in this one, but I wasn’t all that sure that I needed to see a movie about a mute woman fucking a fish. Not for me. I would say I was uncomfortable watching Sally Hawkins FUCK A FISH with my mom, but I can’t really see any situation where I would watch a human woman get fucked by a fish and be okay with it. Then there was the part where sally hawkins was all smiley at work and Spencer’s sassy black woman being like “why are you so happy? Ohhh I bet it’s because you let that fish have sex with you” and then immediately asking about how fish dick works rather than any other sort of normal reaction.

“But Brian it was so beautiful! She finally had a creature in this world that understood her and didn’t see her as some dumb bitch that can’t talk!” I get that. Everybody has seen those videos “this cat eating ice cream is literally all of us” and I think yeah, I’m that cat. I have similar feelings about ice cream as that cat. Doesn’t mean I’m banging that cat.

Favorite scene: any scene with the fish when it wasn’t giving it to a human.

Overall score: 84/100

Bonus: here are some jokes I thought of

  • She was really craving some SEAMEN!
  • Hope she doesn’t catch CRABS!
  • What is this? The prequel to the little mermaid or somethin?
  • Only two things in the world that smell like fish, and both are involved in this scenario am I right?
  • There are plenty of other fish in the sea! (If they broke up or something)

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